Doula

Safety is not the absence of threat, it’s the presence of connection

– Gabor Mate

During your birth, you deserve to feel heard and seen. To feel safe. As your doula, I am here to make sure you experience just that. I am here to support you mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually in the lead-up to and during your birth, and of course, also during your postpartum period.

A doula. Perhaps you’re not sure who a doula is or why you would choose to have one. After all, your partner is there for you, or maybe a dear friend or your mother. Your midwife will also be present, right? That seems like your birth team is complete, doesn’t it? Or perhaps you already know you’ll be giving birth in a hospital. Then the obstetrician is in charge, and you must follow the medical plan, you might think. So why hire a doula? The presence of a doula has many benefits in all circumstances.

The word “Doula” is derived from Greek and means “woman who serves.” She serves the birth process with her profound knowledge of “the tissue and the water.” The passed-down, deeply rooted understanding that a pregnant body is wise. She knows the bones, the muscle layers, the fascia. On one hand, giving birth is a spiritual experience, and on the other hand, it’s deeply primal. Between the literal blood and sweat, not only is a baby born, but also a mother and a father. I stand with you both in this with love and gratitude.

A doula journey is always tailor-made because each pregnant person and their partner have their own desires and wishes. I adjust myself and the process as best as possible to meet these. Below, I describe an example of what a journey might look like. For other suggestions, take a look at the services and pricing.

A doula supports in all aspects except providing medical advice. However, I am medically knowledgeable based on my experience as a HypnoBirthing® instructor and doula.

Getting to Know Each Other

As soon as you’re considering a doula and want to learn more about it, feel free to give me a call. We can get to know each other right away. This can be done online or over the phone. In an hour, you can see if you feel comfortable with me and if you trust me enough to open up. If you choose to work with me, we’ll schedule an intake and you’ll receive a contract. After that, the support begins.

 

Intake

Does it feel right for you? Then we’ll schedule an intake. This is a focused conversation with in-depth questions, where I get to know you better, lasting up to 2 hours. This can be done online or at your home. Before the intake, I will send you a questionnaire. This will help you prepare for the session. I will listen attentively to your vision, mindset, needs, and expectations, and I’ll assess how I can best support you.

Birth Preparation – 1st Appointment

As your instructor through LaVie HypnoBirthing, I can provide you and your partner with valuable insights into preparing for your birth in a complete and positive way.

In the first appointment, we will explore the physiology of birth. What happens in your body? Which hormones play a role, and why are they so important? How does a contraction unfold, and how do you manage it? What is the baby doing during birth? What are the stages of labor, and how do you recognize them? What happens after your baby is born? How does the first hour unfold once your little one has arrived?

After this session, you will receive my Birth Plan Workbook. Using this, you will create your birth plans. You will work on this yourself afterward. The workbook helps you clarify what is truly important to you. There are so many choices to make, even if your birth takes unexpected turns. By making conscious choices beforehand, you won’t need to think about them in the moment. Additionally, it helps to get your birth team on the same page with you.

 

Birth Preparation – 2nd Appointment

In the second appointment, we will cover Dutch maternity care, practice a relaxing exercise, discuss Informed Consent, Embodied Consent, and the BRAINS method, and practice various birth positions. We will also explore how your partner can support you in these positions using massage techniques, acupressure, and the rebozo. I also offer pregnancy massages.

Your (birth) partner will be present at both appointments. They bring their own wishes, fears, uncertainties, and best intentions to the birth, so I also guide them in supporting you optimally during your birth.

 

Discussing the Birth Plan

During this appointment, we will go over your birth plan in detail. If you have any further questions before making a decision, we will address those as well. If you’d like, I can also send you reliable sources and information in advance to help you deepen your understanding of the choices, benefits, and risks of the decisions you’re considering or situations you may encounter.

This way, I can truly understand your preferences, what’s important to you, where your fears and concerns lie, and most importantly, what your inner strength is! Because you have it. This will allow me to tune in to you during the birth.

Visit to Your Care Provider

Of course, I will also accompany you to your midwife or obstetrician for a check-up. This way, your entire birth team will be familiar with each other, and everyone’s wishes and expectations will be clear in advance. This contributes to better collaboration and a positive atmosphere during the birth.

Flexible Appointment

After we’ve been working on the practical aspects, it’s also important to focus on connection and deeper grounding. This appointment is flexible, based on your needs and what you’re comfortable with. It’s aimed at exploring how pregnancy, giving birth, and becoming a parent affect you. This could include creating a vision board, making an affirmation garland, planting a flower or tree, having a conversation with a card deck, a mother blessing, a cacao ceremony, or a walk in the forest. Anything is possible. Feel free to invite your friends, your bestie, your mother, or your mother-in-law. Your partner is of course welcome too! After all, impending parenthood affects them as well. Let me know how you’d like to reflect on this, perhaps with a small ritual.

Postpartum Preparation

When expectant parents prepare for something, it’s often for the birth, as that’s the peak of the entire process. However, the postpartum period has its own set of questions and challenges. During this appointment, I will help you prepare for this time. In the meantime, we’ll cook some postpartum meals together. I have some great recipes for this. Or we can organize a Nesting Party (yes, really!). This means some members of your birth team come over to help with a big cleaning session so that you can relax and nest afterward. Alternatively, we can visit a thrift store to look for casserole dishes, so your visitors can bring you food later. We’ll also map out your social safety net, from both personal and institutional circles. These are just a few suggestions for how we can work together to prepare for your postpartum period. You’ll also receive my Postpartum Plan Workbook.

Pregnancy Massage

As you approach your birth, it becomes increasingly important to slow down and ground yourself. Slowly, you enter the twilight zone—the transition between your old life and your new one. In the final weeks, your body often forces you to take it easy. I’d love to help you relax with a soothing pregnancy massage, foot massage, or rebozo massage. You don’t have to tidy up your house for this, and you don’t need to shave your legs. In the midst of everything, we’ll create a cozy spot on your bed or couch and use whatever you have on hand! Of course, I’ll bring the massage oil and other essentials. For a foot massage, we begin with a lovely herbal or magnesium foot bath. After that, I’ll massage your feet and lower legs. With a rebozo massage, you keep your clothes on, I won’t touch you with my hands, and I’ll gently rock you into a deep state of relaxation.

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Birth Support

Starting from week 37, I am on standby 24/7. You can always text or call me. Once the moment arrives and labor begins, I’ll come to you within a maximum of 2 hours, as soon as you and your partner wish. With all due respect for the life-changing event you’ve invited me to, I will enter calmly, first observing the situation, and then gently connecting with you to tune into where you are. Together, you, your partner, and I, will find a rhythm to help you manage the contractions. Thankfully, I often see that partners provide wonderful support, and in those moments, I will keep an appropriate distance. Because when you and your partner experience that you are truly a team, you can carry that with you for a lifetime. So perhaps I’ll only give you an encouraging nod or affirm how well you’re doing. After that, I’ll gauge if I can contribute further. Maybe by holding your hand, massaging you, or offering my shoulder. I’ll keep reminding you: You got this. And your partner too. Let’s not forget that it’s incredibly impactful for partners to witness you going through this.

I will stay with you, no matter what happens. Whether you give birth at home, in the hospital, have a planned cesarean, or end up needing one. Whether your birth lasts 3 hours or 30 hours. I will accompany you everywhere and leave only about 2 to 3 hours after the birth.

Post Partum

During your postpartum phase, also known as the “kraamtijd” (the lying-in period), I will visit you several times. In the first week after birth, I will come for a quick check-up—just to see how you’re doing on your “pink cloud.” Meanwhile, your maternity care team and midwife will also be visiting. So, I won’t stay too long. From week 2 through week 6, I’ll come by for a postpartum visit. I can help you prepare some meals or give you a relaxing postpartum massage to aid your recovery. Then, at 6 weeks postpartum, I’ll visit again to close the process. Together, we’ll reflect on your pregnancy and birth. It’s time to let go and move forward. During this period, you’re always welcome to text or call me with any questions. Don’t hesitate! As we discussed during pregnancy, this phase brings its own discoveries and challenges.

The Role of a Doula

The support of a doula has many benefits. It can be very practical, hands-on support during labor when needed. For example, I actively support you during each contraction, helping with positions and other tips to smooth and speed up the process. On the other hand, I’m constantly observing you. I see you. I know your wishes. I understand your concerns. I tune in to you, checking in when you seem clear or when you appear unsettled. Additionally, I support your birth bubble by giving you space and protecting the calm of the birth environment. You need to relax as much as possible and as effectively as possible. The presence of someone you trust, an experienced woman you can rely on, who brings and applies all her knowledge and experience, gives you the feeling of being supported. That sisterhood is invaluable.

Support for the (Birth) Partner

At the same time, I’m there for your partner as well. He/she/they will often only know what they’ve seen in movies and TV shows. In the past, partners were even sent out of the room during labor! But it’s so important for the connection and bonding that they are equally present. Nowadays, more and more partners want to be there for you, to be involved, and most importantly, to do something! But they may not know what to do. Because, although your birth partner is your anchor, it’s also quite overwhelming for them to witness you at the peak of your strength and capabilities. As much as your partner is your safe haven, asking them to be your only support and lifeline is like asking them to be the leader of an expedition on Mount Everest. In moments like this, you’d prefer to be guided by an experienced sherpa.

It’s also helpful for them to have someone encouraging them in their role as your rock. When your birth partner is present, I will primarily show them how to support you during each contraction, how to massage you, and how to speak on your behalf and on behalf of both of you. The greatest compliment I can receive is when you both later say, “We really did it together.”

 

HypnoBirthing® in Engelish

I often get asked whether it’s recommended to take the HypnoBirthing® course in addition to doula support. Isn’t that the same thing? HypnoBirthing and a doula journey complement each other perfectly! The HypnoBirthing® course provides you with a complete birth preparation through practical knowledge, expanding your mindset, and offering useful tools and relaxation exercises. The course focuses on knowledge, mindset, and tools, so you and your partner can maintain control. With a doula journey, we go deeper. We work on trust and connection. As a doula, I am here to serve, not to lead. The same applies to your care providers. When you are well-prepared through the HypnoBirthing® course, no one needs to make decisions for you.

In addition to the regular course, I also offer a one-day birth course or a refresher course for anyone who has previously taken a course.

The HypnoBirthing® course is a preparation for labor and the postpartum period, lasting 12 to 15 hours (5 x 2.5/3 hours), and you attend it with your partner. This complete experience cannot be fully covered in the 2 x 3 hours of the doula journey. If you participate in the HypnoBirthing® course, you will receive a €300 discount on the Luxe and Basic doula packages.

 

 

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